"CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF"

Aha! You thought this was going to be another g-pod post, didn't you?!

Well.

Thankfully, it is not.

If you take a second look at the title of this post (though you probably don't need one, as it is blaring at you in all caps), you will notice that there is a suspicious appearance of these curious little things called quotation marks.

I know that almost every blogger and his or her dog posts a rant at one time or another about proper grammar and its usage (well, those people and their dogs who understand what proper grammar is, anyway). However, as grammatical atrocities seem to be nearing the status of "rampant plague" these days, it is in behalf of all humankind that I join myself to these ranks of grammar ranters, though I intend not so much to rant as simply to point out how very silly the overuse--or perhaps the more appropriate term would be misuse, though both words amply apply to the following example--of quotation marks is, and convey to you my continual astonishment at how these kind of horrendous grammatical deformities get themselves onto engraved signs and plaques.

Early this afternoon, I was on break up on the top-secret ___ floor of the library in the top-secret employee break room, eating my top-secret snack with my top-secret co-worker, who happened to be dining on top-secret enchiladas that somehow got snuck past security.

When she finished her enchiladas, I walked around the corner with her into the small, galley-style kitchen (top-secret, of course) so that she could wash her now enchilada-less container. What immediately assaulted my eyes is the picture I have posted below. I warn you: this picture is not for the faint of heart nor the weak-minded.

Don't be fooled by all of those quotation marks--this is not a placard to commemorate your elementary school's cantankerous lunch-lady's favorite sayings. This is actually a public-information placard posted in an educational institution whose specific purpose is to house and preserve the written word.

Alas.